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escupir:

Blue is the warmest color
4:45 am

I felt as thought there was a knife on the cliff of my heart just waiting to slither down the cage, and feel the gentle seeping cells unleash themselves from it. Just empty yourself till your no more. Will that then be the day i wont manage to feel tenderness for her?

I’m weak for you and that’s pretty clear. i was given everything i know from you, you’ve given me life,love,joy and happiness on such extreme levels. I didn’t choose to fall in love with you, a girl, beautiful and free spirited one. I’m weak for so many reasons. My first love, and my only hope in life. You can do so much better than me. What am i.. i’m not cool, i dont know how to be interesting.. all i do is draw, and im not even as good as id like to be. I’m so simple, and i love the simple life we built together. Now life is chasing after us and pushing you away from the simplicity of are love. I just want to bury myself in a pile of sand. I just want to be in a open field and watch as the birds dig at my remains. I want to see them take away this useless body of mine. 

Ahh I’m so pathetic, i’m so shallow minded to think so less of myself like this. But its ok. maybe tomorrow ill head to the mall roof and just smoke and draw some landscapes to run my head from all this thinking. At the end of the day, regardless of what has to happen, ill still remain me, and silence will take be back to being that boring, lifeless being i was before i let myself go with you. 

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